Blog-aholic.

Everyone seems to be Blogging these days.

Which makes me so outrageously,stalkishly,fanatically thrilled.

I love reading about other peoples thoughts/opinions and views on the most intense or random subjects of life.

Its just so refreshing.

I have seen a pattern here,people seem to investigate their minds for thoughts and questions,they quite frankly,think that aren't important enough for normal life and they stow one "useless" thought upon an other and in no time,in my eyes,i get to experience what it likes being them.

Through Blogging,i have realised that,the friend that has always been the confident and bubbly one,wants to run away and never look back and the shy girl in my class,writes the best "amateur "poems,i have read in a very long time.

I think,I have found something about me that I never really knew how to explain.I love distorting peoples perception about other people.I try to make people realise that there are numerous facets of a persons personality.It all is kinda selfish really because to some extent,the only reason i do try to make people not stereotype is because i love surprising people and saying "i told you so.."seems very immature,but Oh well.

Breathe...

"We are on the eve of death"-Said a close friend

and my reaction,you may ask? 

Well, A very timid and quite smile.

Its interesting how the Blog-sphere is full of people bitching about the dreaded result day and of course,i understand their nervousness,apprehensions and fear but some how i just seem to be living in a bubble outside of this pit of sadness.

Don't get me wrong,I have my hours in which "I KNOW I AM GOING TO FAIL" but it seems like i posses magic powers and i just "snap out" of it.Though,of course i know,i don't really have magic powers(i truly wish i did ) but what i do have is a very very realistic mind and when this God bestowed mind realizes how unproductive all this mourning is BEFORE you even know what your result is going to be,its kind off shuts off on me.

We all will know,if we are going to flunk or exceed but until we don't,lets just all take a deep breath and know that us wrapping our selves with our preconceived notions of failure or success is not going to help us,in any way.

So,lets just enjoy the one peaceful day we have left,until we get harassed by relatives and friends asking

"kya aya "

Teasingly Familair

His arms felt like jagged stones,wrapped around me.

His breath cold as ice.

His stare as devious as Satan.

I knew my whole world was changing,disappearing and dissolving.

It was crashing down,tumbling and in the distant i could hear her whispering,

"Its Over.Its Done.Its Over.Its Done....."

He tangled his hands in my hair and drew me close,so teasingly familiar.

Just when i knew it was The End.

My whole world began to burn and like a jolt of life.I was back to reality.

Time is such a tease

People change .Its a fact of life.I have changed quite a lot in the past 3 years .I have lost friends ,made new friends and fought with friends.

Sometimes i feel like my old friends reflect a whole different side of me,a side that i can very happily say i don't want to exhibit any more.Its weird how at one point of my life,i was making plans to see the world with these people and now i can't seem to have a five minute conversation with them, without feeling insulted,judged and over whelmed.I am disappointed in myself that my once feelings of excitement and joy have changed to such negativity but even with all the differences and scorned feelings,i can't bear to let go of them.They are my past .They tell the stories of how i became who i am today .Even if the "today" version of me can't coincide with my "older" version .

I just wonder,if i have grown such an immense amount in a couple of years and i am only 18 ,what does the rest of my life behold ?Will i be a whole new different person next year the same time?
Time is such a tease. It slows down when you want it to go faster and speeds up when you want it to go slow .Father Time,you are surly something.

I am making no sense , its just that i feel like i am fighting to keep whatever is left of my old friendships.Fighting daily and it aggravates me that my old friends can't seem to do the same.

The People

There are people in this world , people who seem to astound me.
They walk among us assuming that they blend in but Oh No they don't.
These are people who I never fail to miss in a crowd.They don't seem out of the ordinary from the outside but inside,in there hearts,They are so completely and utterly different.In a world filled with power struggles and a day to day routine of showing off your various possessions.These people are the folks who stop on there way to work,just so they can help a old person cross the street ,they share,rather than show off,not because it would look rude but because they want too.These people spend there lives helping others or trying to help others.
They are extraordinary.
I admire them to my deepest core.Let me rephrase that,I admire anyone who has put a stranger in front of them.Opened a door for someone they didn't know or bought something useless from the old man sitting at the corner just because they could take some money back home.Oh I don't have words to explain my gratitude and to be honest that doesn't happen often.You know,I always somehow envied my friends who had a clear cut image of who they aspired to be,some wanted to be like there mothers or some wanted to be significant public figure.I never knew what kind of person i would love to be.I think I can say I know now.I want to be part of ,The People.I want to give a huge cyber round of applause to anyone who has ever done a random act of kindness.I know no matter how small or insignificant you may think it may be,it was truly appreciated.

 Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out. ~Frank A. Clark

Life is wonderful

I am Happy .
I am extremely Happy.
I have spent the first week of my summer vacation provoking my mind to make the most of the little things in life .I have some how started enjoying cleaning my room ,because i look at all my things and feel grateful that i can afford them .It takes me one look at my maid who spends her days cleaning after my messes to realize how gratified i should be .Its amazing how even after spending the day in  humidity and walking in the scorching sun,she comes to me and always prays for my result and my future.
Even the load shedding hasn't been bothering me.
.I feel indebted to God that i can Smell,Touch,Talk,Listen,Walk,See and so many other things .After taking Biology for 3 years i know how delicate the balance is of creating a functional human being from scratch.If only one thing had gone wrong , i might not be the person i am today .
How can i have over looked such things all my life ? How is it that i payed no attention to any of these things for 18 years ?
I am so profoundly thankful for everything in my life and i hope everyone takes some time in there day to realize how much they have to cherish .
Life is wonderful ,isn't it ?

I want that moment

Time seems to be suspended when you reach that crucial moment in your life,that moment when a hundred million thoughts are going through your mind .A single yes or no can change your life forever .
I WANT THAT MOMENT !

I am sick of the same old routine , the same old faces.I love my life ,i love everything about it but i want to experience something new ,something that will take my breath away and make my eyes go wide.I want to jump in the big world ,head first without a helmet, ready to embrace disappointment ,rejection and surprise .
Am i the only one who spends there days thinking about  leaving home? Leaving everything  they know and starting it new ?Even when there is nothing wrong with there life ?
I feel like my heart is about to explode ,it has so many dreams inside ,so many fears that i have yet to face .Is it stupid of me to actually want to be tested and challenged ?